The Best Lubes For All Kinds Of Sex

If you’re a queer man, you know the importance of lube. In fact, I’m willing to bet there’s a bottle sitting on your nightstand right now.

Given that our bums don’t lubricate themselves (if it does, you might have a significant infection), lubrication is required for anal sex to prevent injury, heighten sensation and make sex more pleasurable.

Since RIDE products are 100 percent vegan, glycerin and paraben-free, pH-balanced, hypoallergenic, and non-toxic, our products are a responsible choice for your solo or partnered exploits.

Given that there are many different types of lube, we thought it might be helpful to describe which lubes should (and shouldn’t) be used for different kinds of sex. Ready? Let’s dive in.

ANAL SEX

Most lubes (water-based, silicone-based, oil-based, or hybrid lubes) are safe to use during anal sex, so take some time to experiment and see which best suits your fanny.

However, don’t use oil-based lubes if you’re using a condom. They diminish the integrity of latex (the material most commercial condoms are made from), which makes them porous and more likely to tear.

(Pro-tip: to make the condoms more pleasurable for the wearer, add a drop of lube to the head of your penis before putting the condom on; this extra slip will add sensation to the most sensitive part of the penis.)

For anal sex, I prefer silicone lubricants, because they’re long-lasting and don’t have to be re-applied as often as, say, a water-based lube. Given that its texture is slicker and, at times, thicker than others, they do a better job coating the anal cavity, which can better prevent discomfort, irritation, and tearing.

If you choose a water-based lube for anal sex, reach for one with a thicker gel-like consistency, as this will cushion friction and last longer than your standard water-based lube.

FISTING

Since fisting is an extreme sexual act that requires some extra TLC, it’s best to choose a lube with a thicker and slippery consistency as hands and forearms tend to have hair and a tougher texture. It’s one of the reasons there are lubes made specifically for fisting, though many traditionalists still opt for classics like Crisco, a vegetable oil-based shortening, and J-Lube, which was created for veterinary use when birthing cattle.

Research conducted in 2019 via fisting education resource, Fistify, found that nearly 50 percent of folks who engage in fisting prefer water-based lubricants. Oil-based lubricants, considered popular among the community, came in a distant second, followed by silicone.

According to those surveyed, water-based was most popular because it’s safe to use with latex and Nitrile gloves, which tops will wear to protect the bottom’s anal cavity from cuts and germs.

However, because water-based lubes are easily absorbed in the skin (and our asses are an especially thirsty part of our anatomy), they don’t last as long as others, meaning you’ll go through a lot of it.

Since most lubes are suitable for fisting, choose a lube that contains properties that you think would feel best. And always give your hands and forearms a thorough cleaning beforehand.

SHOWER SEX

Because water-based lube washes away in water, it’s not the best option for shower sex. The strange thing about sex in the water is that everything is wet except your genitals. That’s because water washes away our body’s natural lubrication, making lube all the more important.

Silicone lubes won’t wash away in water, and gel formulas will stay in place better than thinner lubricants. Be careful, though: tubs and showers are slippery as-is. Add lube, and you’re fucking on an ice rink. For this reason, non-slip bathmats and/or shower handles are a good idea.

SEX TOYS

A lot of sex toys are made with silicone. Because silicone-based lubes can deteriorate the surface of sex toys after extended use, you’ll want to steer clear. (Sex toys can be expensive, so you’ll want them to last as long as possible!)

Similarly, silicone lube deteriorates soft materials like Cyberskin, which are responsible for the realistic look and feel of many stroker toys. However, silicone lube is safe to use with toys made from hard materials like glass, metal, and hard plastic.

Your safest bet is water-based lube. If it starts getting tacky (which they’re known to do), you can add water or saliva to bring it back to its original consistency. Or just add more lube.

You can also use a hybrid lube, the best of both worlds, since it contains both water and silicone lube. Because hybrids only contain about 10 to 15 percent silicone, they are safe to use with silicone sex toys.

Additional lube tips:

• To see how your skin will react to a lubricant, perform a patch test first, rubbing a drop of lube on the top of your hand to see if there’s a reaction like discoloration, itching, burning, pain, or swelling. If there is, wash the lubricant off with water, and don’t dare put it on your genitals. (You can also perform a patch test on sex toys.)

• Given silicone lube’s velvety texture and that it doesn’t absorb into the skin, it also makes a fantastic massage oil (the same goes for oil-based lubes, especially our Booty Buzz, a silicone-based lube that starts cool and gradually warms up as you use it).

• Silicone lube can also be used to shine patent leather and latex clothing and accessories. If you’re in a pinch, you can use it as a shaving cream, a makeup primer, even to stop a door from squeaking. What can’t it do?!

• Avoid numbing lubes since these can mask pain, which is your body’s way of telling you something’s not right.

• Experiment with lube temperatures. If you’re seeking warmth, heat the lube in your hand or place the bottle in a glass of warm water before applying. Or, if you’d prefer a cooler sensation, put your lube in the fridge for a little while.

Hopefully, now you have a better understanding of lube and when each is best utilized. That was a lot of information we just covered but, rest assured, as long as you understand which lubes are potentially hazardous with certain materials (quick reminder: don’t use oil-based lubes with condoms and don’t use silicone-based lube with silicone toys) you can have fun playing around and experimenting.

See RIDE’s full collection of lubricant, performance, and grooming products here.

Bobby Box is a freelance writer and editor. He writes about sex and relationships and men’s lifestyle topics for other publications and websites such as NewNowNext.com, Advocate.com, Bustle.com, AskMen, Playboy, Elle, MANdatory, Elite Daily, and more.