By Bobby Box
Body hair can be a polarizing aesthetic in the gay community. In a big way, body hair represents our identity. If you identify as a bear, you likely have body hair. If you identify as a twink, you’re probably smooth. The very way we categorize each other stems from how we manscape. No matter where you fit in the gay ecosystem, you should always be doing some form of manscaping. We gays are a civilized people, not primitive cavemen, and our pubes should reflect that.
Research from travel dating site Miss Travel found 58 percent of gay men fancy their men furry, whereas women prefer their men fully ‘scaped (added that one for the bisexuals out there). However, three years prior, gay cruising site Manhunt surveyed 27,000 of their members and found that while gays do like their men with some hair, there are certain areas we like shorn more than others. Most important being: the shaft (21 percent), the pubes (19 percent), the balls (18 percent), the taint (12 percent) and the hole (12 percent).
But be careful, shaving your no-no parts can be dangerous. A study published in JAMA Dermatology found that, of their 7,500 person sample, the harrier a man is, the likelier he is to injure himself shaving. Nearly one in four men reported injuring themselves while trying to trim their pubic hair – 67 percent of injuries were located on the scrotum while 38 percent were on the penis. Many also reported burns from waxing and rashes from razors. To erase any and all signs of razor burn or rashes, and for a super close shave, we recommend Ride Razor. It is 100 percent vegan and hypoallergenic, comes in 2 distinctly masculine scents, is safe for the most sensitive of skin types, and will leave every inch of your skin feeling smooth and hydrated.
Now, let’s talk procedure.
Here’s what you’ll need:
Step One: Trim The Mound
Using a clipper or beard trimmer with the guard on, trim down the upper bush first. For a more natural groomed look, trim just enough to remove the excess hair. Too much, and you’ll start looking like a Ken doll. As for the beanbag itself, adjust the clipper/trimmer to the shortest setting possible with the guard still on. Then, carefully trim all ponderous hair as short as possible, as this will improve visibility (which will help you avoid injury), reduce obstruction (possible snags and other atrocities) and give you less hair to tackle with the razor. This will keep the blade sharper for longer.
Step Two: Grab A Shower
Hop in the shower and rinse off excess clippings and lather up. You want a clean work surface here. The warm water in the shower will make your hair soft and pliable, which will help the blade glide smoothly, which is particularly helpful if you’ve got a dense bush. If you can, divert yourself away from the water or turn your back to the shower-head so you don’t wash away your shaving cream.
Step Three: Lube Up
Before attacking with the razor, apply a small amount of body lotion or cream to your junk. While doing this, take note of the hair direction (this will become useful later). Rinse your hands and grab your razor.
Step Four: Attack!
Grab your beast by the head and pull it away from your body. You want the skin to be taut. Shaft hair generally grows up from the base and, for most, ends about halfway along the length. With light pressure, shave the top and sides of your shaft, against the grain. Try to limit your passes to one or two in each area and rinse the blade often. Next, pull your shaft up toward your navel and shave the underside.
Now it’s time for the twins. Cup your pills in one hand and lift them up, stretching the skin taut. First, shave against the grain, from the middle down, along the perineum toward the cheeks. Your hair tends to grow from the inner groin to the centre, meaning right side grows left, and left side grows right. Putting pressure on one testicle will tighten the skin and pop the other forward. Gently shave over the taught skin and repeat on the other side. Rinse yourself off.
Apply some aftershave or moisturizer on the area, as it has just been brutalized by a sharp blade. Don’t skimp here, either. Your balls need plenty of moisture to prevent rashes and itching. Finally, give yourself a good look in the mirror, take an immaculate dick pic, and pat yourself on the back. You’re done!