Taking a dick pic that is worthy of regular distribution can be challenging. But, speaking as a vers man who’s tasked to take both, I promise this difficulty pales in comparison to taking a great ass pic.
For starters, your dick is right in front of you. If you weren’t concerned with making your member look as long and girthy as possible with the aid of a TV remote or Red Bull can, you’d just have to point and shoot. Easy.
The same cannot be said for an ass pic, or “belfie” (butt selfie). No, in order to get your ass in the frame, you need to be a master of mirrors, a contortionist or have arms the length of a gorilla’s. Since most of us don’t possess these key features, which don’t even guarantee a flattering shot, we have to get crafty.
To consult on best practices, I spoke to Gay Twitter and the platform’s best bum photographers for tips on making your ass look like the juiciest peach in the orchard.
Prime your peach
You wouldn’t take a selfie without making sure your beard and skin are looking immaculate and your bum is no different. Some guys enjoy rocking hair down there, while others want a smooth, hair-free appearance. In the case of the latter, RIDE Razor is an amazingly creamy, non-foaming option for getting a super close shave that will leave your skin fuzz-free, rash-free, and moisturized all-in-one. Even if you don’t shave your bum using a moisture-rich shave cream, remember to still apply whatever moisturizer you have lying around before snapping your shot so your bum’s looking soft and supple. Or, if you’re extra, you can purchase products designed (or, more accurately, marketed) for your bum, like Studio Ready, who shill both an ass mask (to remove dead skin and correct uneven skin tone) and a butt scrub to deep clean and moisturize your hole for a camera-ready appearance.
Shoot a video
The most popular tip gleaned from Gay Twitter was to shoot a video, opposed to snapping a photo, so you can test out a variety of bum-friendly positions without having to set your timer. Then, select a screenshot from the footage where your bum looks best. Or, you can just take a ton of photos. “Don’t be afraid to take anywhere from a half-dozen to, literally, a hundred photos,” Henry, better known as Colorslashform on OnlyFans, says. “It’ll allow you to learn your body and how it looks in different positions.”
Use your mirrors
The easiest way to take an ass shot is to utilize your mirrors. But before we talk strategy, you’ve got to make sure your mirror (and bum, for that matter) is wiped clean and the space in the frame is tidy. You can have the ass of an Adonis but if your place looks a mess, all the effort is for nothing.
It’s easiest to stand and have your back facing the mirror with the camera pointed over your shoulder. The higher you can hold the camera the better because it makes your shoulders look big and your waist look small. A good idea is to tuck your shorts or underwear under your cheeks to give it a bit of lift. Others prefer to sit on a countertop. If you’re brave, you could even use a floor mirror and crouch. Be extra careful to brace yourself properly so you don’t fall onto the mirror and shatter the glass. Besides being painful, it will bring 7 years of bad sex…and no one wants that.
Find your light
Natural light is best since studio lighting–– a ring light, for example––can be harsh. “I’m blessed that my two bedroom windows are on the fifth floor and face downtown so I get natural light from 2-6 PM in the summer and 3-3:30 PM in the winter,” Kenny Benjamin, yournextbottomx on OnlyFans, says. “Timing is key!”
“Generally speaking, overhead lighting is no good,” Henry adds, though he says it can be beneficial if you want to remove definition or imperfections. “You’ll want side or backlighting, preferably both, which is why wider windows can be excellent. This will bring out the definition and shape in your body, show hair if you want it highlighted, and create shadows and contrast between your ass and back.”
Call for assistance
Kyle’s other go-to, the “frog pose,” is similar but both legs are bent. “Extend both arms forward because you’re lifting your ass higher,” he begins. “You’ll want to allow your upper body to drop, but you also want to make sure you keep the shape of your shoulders, which are generally lost in the pose if your arms are beside or beneath you.”
Our arms are not long enough to capture our bums at their most flattering angle, so you may need the assistance of a selfie stick, a tripod, or a friend you’re comfortable with to direct you and snap a stellar shot. If you’re in a pinch, you can use a household item, like a mug, a pillow, a stack of books, or a pop socket to hold your phone in place.
Assume the position
Henry’s favorite position is to lay on your stomach with your upper back and shoulders propped up slightly. One leg is extended and the other is bent.
“The bent leg pushes the butt up naturally and lifting the upper body stresses the muscles of the back and gives a curve down to the waist,” he says. “It works quite nicely from the side, too, just make sure the extended leg is away from the camera. It’ll pop the cheek facing the camera up.”
Kenny, who, evidently, is quite flexible, likes to arch his back with his arm extended at a 60-degree angle. “I usually like to tug my butt cheek that is in the air to expose my hole,” he says. “This position also doubles as a full back side shot with face if you lower the angle.”
“If you want to show your legs as thicker, keep the feet further apart,” Henry adds. “To show them as thinner, put your feet together.”
Lights, camera, ass crack-tion!
An ass picture takes a lot of effort, and a great ass pic is, more often than not, a fluke. So, when you get that blessed image, store it in a safe place (a hidden folder probably) and share it if you’re so inclined. Hopefully, the above information has proved useful. It certainly has for me, and I will treasure the many images I was sent in response to this article for years to come.
Meet the Author:
opens in a new windowBobby Box is a freelance writer and editor. He writes about sex and relationships and men’s lifestyle topics for other publications and websites such as opens in a new windowNewNowNext.com, opens in a new windowAdvocate.com, opens in a new windowBustle.com, AskMen, opens in a new windowPlayboy, opens in a new windowElle, opens in a new windowMANdatory, opens in a new windowElite Daily, and more.