Big Dicks For Beginners: The Best Positions For Pain-Free Anal Sex

A quick glance at Grindr will reveal that queer men advertise and fetishize big penises. As a reporter on queer culture, I’ve written about this proclivity and, according to sex expert and therapist Dr. Joe Kort, our collective penchant stems from the misguided notion that a big dick is a marker of masculinity, which is confused to mean he possesses superior erotic power. Which, of course, is not necessarily true. 

As the inevitable Grindr pic exchange reveals, one’s perception of “big” varies by individual. Luckily, heaps of research have been dedicated to penis size and we’ve found that the average member measures at 5.6 inches despite the lies we tell others (and ourselves). The fact of the matter is, less than three percent  of men measure over eight inches, which technically indicates that any number in between these figures is larger than average and could be considered “big.” Anything larger is a verified weapon of ass destruction.

Since our holes are naturally sealed tight, a bigger penis can cause pain or discomfort, at least until our bodies become more comfortable accommodating a larger size. In order to do so, we may need to take some precautions, one of which is considering the sexual positions that we engage in. More often than not, positions with the bottom in charge are the best way to ensure a pain-free experience, at least in the beginning. With this in mind, I’ve compiled some great anal sex positions for men with big delicious cocks.

Cowboy

Cowboy is arguably the most popular position for beginners. While there can be a lot of pressure being the one in charge, having the bottom on top lets them pilot the plane and take the cock at a rate they’re comfortable with. As the bottom sinks lower to the base of the penis, their body gets accustomed to the fullness and will eventually relax, opening you up for other, more intermediate positions. If you’re looking to take it up a notch, lean all the way back on the cock, lift your torso with your arms, and use your legs to lift your body up and down and really take charge.

Doggy Style

Doggy-style offers benefits for both the top and the bottom. The top has a clear view of the action (and what a beautiful view it is), which gives them a better perspective to be cautious. Doggy style can also let the bottom take the lead, so they can navigate how deep the big dick penetrates. The position also allows for modifications, like “standing doggy style,” where the top enters the bottom from behind while both are standing. In this position, the bottom can better manage how deep the top thrusts by opening and closing their thighs.

Lotus

The cradle is an incredibly intimate, face-to-face position that’s perfect for heavy makeout sessions, which can help relax your hole. The top sits with their legs crossed as the bottom gently lowers themselves. Onto the big cock and wraps their legs around their waist. To fit comfortably, the position might sacrifice an inch or two depending on your body type (bigger bellies, more inches), which, depending on how big that dick is, can really help ease you into things.

Planking

If you’re feeling like a particularly lazy bottom, this is the position for you. All you have to do is lay flat on your stomach like a valley girl penning a diary entry. From here, the bottom lays on top and will thrust his hips into you. As your cock grinds into the surface you’re laying on top of. Plus, this position lets the bottom determine how deep the cock penetrates. By lifting and lowering their hips or opening and closing their thighs.

Lap Dance

Similar to the lotus position, the lap dance position can spare an inch or two depending on body type. The top sits down on a chair or sofa and the bottom, facing the same position, sits down on the shaft. Using their legs, the bottom takes charge of how deep or shallow the cock penetrates. When the bottom’s legs get tired (because they will), they can lean back and rest their weight onto the top’s lap––though this will definitely require the cock to reach deeper, which, at that point, you might be ready for.

Spooning

Spooning is incredibly intimate. With penetration, it’s also a great position for guys with big dicks. In the spooning position, both partners lay down facing the same direction. From there, the top or bottom guides penetration by thrusting their hips. A tip: if the bottom brings their knees toward their chest, the insertion will be much easier and more comfortable.

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Things still may not work out, and that’s OK

Hopefully, these positions will make things more comfortable when confronted with the Everest of cocks. If things feel painful, listen to your body and don’t push forward. These things take time, so don’t be too hard on yourself. If your sexual partner is empathetic and willing, you can work on opening up together with fingers, toys, and lots of opens in a new windowRIDE lube.